Me, Jesy, Cosmopolitan And Mental Health Awareness Week

It's mental health awareness week and it feels more apt than ever before. Not just because I've just bought and read the new issue of Cosmopolitan featuring Jesy Nelson, but because I'm doing so whilst just out of hospital from suffering heart palpitations and limb numbness, symptoms similar to those of a stroke.

As I read how Jesy Nelson has battled mental health publicly for so long, I feel an overwhelming sense of similarity – the comparison, the pressure and the self deprecation she's experienced, except I haven't dealt with my issues in front of the world. Whilst I may have “performed” acts of looking as though I'm coping in front of family, friends and colleagues, I've never had to actually perform on a stage in front of thousands whilst feeling the way I have. My heart continues to race while I finish her interview.

Jesy talks of seeking approval from others for so long, seeking to please everyone around her, all whilst allowing herself to suffer at the same time. Feeling inadequate, insecure and unhappy, with a constant dark cloud are feelings I relate to all too well. Adding anxiety into the mix allows for mental health to expose itself in physical form, something I know all too well. Jessy mentioned being on set of Little Mix's music video “Sweet Melody” and having panic attacks – a physical result of the stress, pressure and anxiety.

“Calm down”, “everything is okay” and “why are you worrying?” aren't words of wisdom that ever help with anxiousness, but if I'm honest, I don't know what can actually help. I've experienced chronic depression, and right now I'm experiencing chronic anxiety, and other than waiting for a particular event which I know is making me anxious to be over, I feel it's something I just have to go through and manage in the upcoming weeks. But Jesy's reasons for her anxiousness couldn't be pinpointed by a particular event that she had to count down the days to – it was on-going indefinitely, and that, I can't relate to.

It turns out leaving Little Mix would be her equivalent to my personal event which I'm awaiting – leaving a band that she did love, meant an overwhelming sense of pressure was lifted from her shoulders, just like mine will be in a few weeks time. She now talks of being happier, more content and more confident, and it was incredible to read. It was relieving, satisfying and exhilarating to know that this girl, who's talented and beautiful, now feels how she should, because she took one action in her life. Whilst I'm sure leaving the band wasn't an easy decision, it seems like it was the right thing to do for her own sake, and whilst we all love every member of Little Mix, it was just as heart warming to read their statement of understanding towards Jesy's emotional health too – that is the kind of support mental health requires. Sometimes you don't need words of wisdom, you just need the reassurance of undivided support.

So how can we prevent these feelings of anxiety when sometimes, they're caused from just, life, itself. If it's not our job, or are finances, or our relationships, or our health, or simply just general life events, how are we ever expected to conquer anxiety? I'm so glad Jesy could take her situation into her own hands and ultimately take control to a point where she now feels better, and I truly hope she never experiences such feelings again. But Sometimes it feels as though situations are out of your control, and how are you supposed to conquer your anxiety then? It's a question I still don't know the answer to.

Jesy Nelson is the poster girl for not just looking okay, but looking far more than okay – looking beautiful, in fact, but feeling on the inside anything but, and if she isn't a lesson to us all that how you look and feel are two completely separate things, then we have far more to learn than how to help the issue of mental health itself.

Although I can't provide answers for helping anyone who feels the same as Jessy or myself, what I can say is to simply do whatever you can which you know will help. In Jesy's case it was to leave Little Mix, and in mine, it'll be to surround myself with those whom I love, continue to read Cosmopolitan, to organise my wardrobe and to busy myself with all things fashion!

And if Jesy ever reads this, thanks for telling your story, and please continue to do what you need to do. Don't ever forget you're beautiful, talented, and you have a whole load of support out there for you more than you probably realise, just like most of us do.